It will all work out

I got the new serving job and I start Monday. Hopefully it goes well, it seems to be a more casual and laid back place. I did make it to my fiance's family Thanksgiving and it was a really nice night. Being around family is reassuring to me that it will all work out. I may not have it all figured out this minute but I do know that whatever happens it will be okay. My fiance will always be there for me, our family's will be behind us in everything we do and that even when it seems bad it really isn't the end of the world. I have a million things due in the next following weeks but I will get them done, I may not have a ton of money right now but my family will help me through, my anxiety may take its toll and tell me I can't do it but my determination will always win that battle. I know it will be okay. I have been accepted to not one but two law schools already, I will be marrying the love of my life next summer and everything will be okay in the end. In the past few years I have overcame some crazy circumstances, I know that this small struggle will be just that in the grand scheme of things. One day I will look back and laugh about freaking out over getting in, making grades, and paying the bills. One day all this supposed struggle will make me a better person and I will succeed I will be the leader I seek to be I will make a difference in the world.

Work it Out

As good as getting into law school felt, the real world came crashing into me to wake me back up. I am broke broke broke! My current server job is just not giving me enough hours so the job hunt commenced. Through my manager at the pizza shop I work at (remember I have 3 jobs) got me an interview at another restaurant, which is further away but I have the possibility of making more money. I went in for my first interview yesterday and have another interview tonight. It sucks though because it is my fiance's family Thanksgiving dinner which I will miss. I can't continue to struggle so much though. My fiance is the best, he supports me so much, emotionally and financially. He has made my last 2 car payments and paid all our bills for our house and stuff the past 2 months. All the money I have has went towards my credit card bills, gas and some cheap lunch once a week, which I feel pretty guilty about but hey I have to eat. Like I said my fiance is unbelievably supportive. I couldn't be luckier. That brings up another money issue however, our wedding. The shop I ordered my dress from told me I'd have until May to pay my dress off, but now they are saying I have to pay it off now or they will sell it to someone else. I am freaking out! I do not have the money to pay my car payment let alone the rest of my dress off. I've been making $20 payments but it still has $400 to be paid on it. This just leads to more anxiety because now I'm worried about the rest of my wedding and the bills that come with it. I just don't know what to do, I can only work so much before my school starts to drop. I already work my lunch breaks from school on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I work from the time I get out of class till 10 pm on Tuesday and Thursdays and I work all Friday night and Saturday. The only day I could pick up more is Sunday but I rely on that day to catch up on homework. Money just sucks and I don't know when I got to this point of debt and living outside of my means. I'm also not quiet sure how to dig my way out, other than work as much as possible over break and just really cut back absolutely everything but the bare necessities.
Well wish me luck on my interview!
Laters!

I GOT IN!!!!!!!!!!!

Not sure if I mentioned this before but last weekend I was at the American Model United Nations Conference in Chicago. Which was good, but the best part was as we piled in the van for our 8 hour drive home I recieved a call from an unknown number. I usually don't answer them but decided to do so. It was Capital Law School letting me know I was accepted! They told me that my acceptance letter was in the mail and that scholarship information would be coming in about a month. So that was supper exciting! It didn't end there. MAS I checked my email for the millionth time out of boredom, a new email came in, from Duquense Law, titled decision. It informed me that I was accepted into their law school and scholarship information would be coming in about three weeks. It's great to know that my hard work is paying off and that 2 out of the 4 schools I applied to accepted me after only 10 days. It definitely made the what ended up being 9 hours in a van a little more bearable and my Thanksgiving break all that sweeter. Well Happy Thanksgiving! 

And just trust me if you work for it you can achieve it! 

Applications IN!!!!

So I decided last week to stop fretting and just turn my applications in. I could only rewrite my personal statement so many times and I feel like I'm only a few panic attacks away from dying so I just set down and turned in 4 applications. Which cost $160!!! But it was necessary if I want to go to the right place with the right deal. Now its the waiting game. From most of the stuff I've read I'm expecting to wait between 6-10 weeks for responses, hopefully I get in somewhere, and hopefully that somewhere wants to give me a little bit of monetary help. Like I said I thought that turning in my applications would help put some of my anxiety and panic attacks to bed, but it didn't. Last night i didn't fall asleep until 6 am and woke up at 8 am for class. It sucked I was so worried about having to move, and planning my wedding, and worrying about the money the wedding is going to cost and all the emails I needed to send to the photographer and the florist and the venue and work out the menu and it was just a crazy cycle. So today I decided to at least make a payment on my wedding dress so I could feel like I accomplished something....well I tried but my card was rejected and my account overdrawn. Frick! One of my credit card payments from 3 weeks ago just went through today coupled with a fill up on gas that went through as $1 bumped up to $40 coupled with me trying to pay as much on my dress as possible emptied my account. Now I need to put the money I had stashed away for my car payment into the bank to cover some bills which means I need to take the little bit of extra I had saved for my trip to Chicago next week to put towards my car payment meaning I am now going to Chicago super broke. And the cycle of anxiety and panic goes around and around and around. It really sucks. My friend thinks I should go to one of the school counselors, but I don't know when I even have time for that and I don;t know if it really would help at all. I need to finish my cases for administrative law before its too late I should really try and get maybe four hours of sleep tonight I have a long couple days ahead of me. I work all my lunch breaks and nights up until I leave for Chicago. Being strapped for cash really sucks.

Busy, Busy, Busy

So its been like two months and I haven't posted. I have just been so busy with everything, school, pre-law society, FAD, work, work, work. I've been picking up more hours at the pizza shop and my internship is getting busier. We recently received a murder that will most likely go to trial due to many different variables. I've also been really looking into law schools and where I want to go. This week my fiance and I talked about it and have come to the realization that he cannot come to law school with me. He cannot afford to move and lose his current job for a most likely less paying job somewhere else. So I am now a little more open to where I can go, but limited in other ways. Its going to be interesting to see where I end up. Every school has its positives and very few have any negatives so far. I really want to go visit some but I CANNOT miss anymore class. I got my wisdom teeth out and ended up missing a whole week. I also am missing a couple days for the Model UN conference coming up in two weeks. My OCD has came out in full colors now that I'm really busy and slightly stressed, okay majorly stressed. I recently created an excel sheet, complete with charts, comparing the different law schools I am most interested in. My spreadsheet had tuition, estimated cost of living, LSAT and UGPA data, enrollment and application data along with how many miles from our house the school is. I just want to be prepared, but really the chart is almost making my more anxious because one school is not rising above the others, they all still seem very reasonable. I'm starting to lean toward the idea that I'll be happy anywhere I go but then I worry I'll choose the wrong school and end up hating the next 3 years of my life along with never being able to get a job or pass the bar. Which I realize is slightly illogical, but only slightly. I just wish it would all become clear somehow. Maybe when I start receiving letters, acceptance or rejection, one will rise above the rest. At least I hope so. I'm almost done with my personal statement, just some revising to do, it has to have perfect grammar, and still waiting on my last letter of recommendation from my seminar advisor, he swears he has it written he just want to edit it one more time....Anyways, I'm not quiet sure what this post really was for other than to let you know, the no one who read this, that I am indeed alive, and to get some of the thoughts and anxiety out of my head. Thanks for listening, and as always, laters!

Busy days

Its the fourth week of school and stuff is really getting started. Today I went from 7am till 6 pm non stop and then crashed on my couch for almost 4 hours, which was not apart of my plan. I got up early to work on homework, went to class, where I was asked to speak for the poli sci department to the new freshman at 11, which I did until 12 and then went to my afternoon class and then rushed off to my internship where I had a ton of work piled up for me. I then went to the grocery store to get dinner for a fresh healthy dinner for me and my fiance, however, by the time I got home I was so wore out and exhausted that my fiance got us dinner from the dairy queen and all my groceries are in the fridge. This week has a lot on my plate, I'm working on planning a trip to New York for the LSAC Law School Forum as well as setting up the LSAT study group I've been trying to create since last September, it may be too late for it to help me but there are plenty of other students I could help. A rough draft of my Literature Review is also due tomorrow which I have hardly worked on because of everything else going on. I also have neglected to get back to the gym this week because I am super busy but I also lost my school id so it makes it hard to get in the building since they are unlocked by waving your id in front of a sensor. On top of all of this law school applications are all open and i have one letter of recommendation in so now I need to start filling out my applications. This post seems really long and ongoing but thats kinda how my day was and how my brain is feeling right now. Hope I didn't bore you too much...peace and love!

Just a quick update!

So I've returned to the gym and just one week later I've set a new personal best for my mile! 10:30! I'm well aware that's not the best but for me who could hardly walk a mile a couple years ago this is awesome! I'm just gonna keep trying and keep getting better! It's all in the mindset! Peace and love all!